


Spelled Out

by katikat



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Coda, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 22:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14778342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katikat/pseuds/katikat
Summary: Coda to ep 105. Mac thinks that, at some point, he stopped caring. Jack convinces him otherwise. Mac’s POV. (Unbeta'd)





	Spelled Out

Dealing with the German authorities is a nightmare - well, they did just almost derailed a speeding train and almost destroyed the terminal in Frankfurt, Mac has to admit - luckily, it falls to Thornton. Most of it, that is.

Still, they’re not allowed to leave till almost twenty four hours later. They’re filthy, hungry and exhausted and their high from having won faded away a long time ago. Now they’re just cranky. And with a long flight back home ahead of them. Isn’t that just peachy.

At least, that’s how Mac feels. He also aches all over. Well, he  _did_ climb down under a speeding train; he was  _really_ lucky to come away with just bruises in many, many places. And whenever he feels exhausted, he gets maudlin and then his brain gets going, picking apart his past actions, and that makes him even more maudlin. A vicious circle.

Then there’s Jack…

When Mac finally drops down into one of the jet’s gloriously soft leather seats, Jack, sitting opposite him and still feeling entirely too cheerful, ever after hours of debriefing, kicks Mac in the foot. “Hey, what’s wrong with you? We saved the day, caught the bad guys, rescued the  _damsel in distress_! A good day’s work. Stop looking so sullen, you’re raining on my parade.”

And as cranky as Mac feels, he still has to smile. That’s just Jack’s charm, to annoy you back into a good mood. “Don’t mind me, I’m just tired.”

“I can see  _that_ ,” Jack replies pointedly. “And I also know how you get when that big brain of yours runs out of problems to solve: it starts wallowing, getting all…  _analytical_ and stuff, finding flaws where there were none. So, what is it today? What 20-20 hindsight is bugging your… ‘ _delicate sensibilities_ ’ today, hoss?”

Mac grimaces. Sometimes, it’s rather aggravating, to have someone in your life who knows you this well. And who’s like a dog with a bone,  _Jesus_!

“Come on, tell me,” Jack insists and kicks Mac in the foot again. “Come on.” Another kick.

“Alright,  _alright_! Stop kicking me!” Mac snaps, pulling his legs away but not out of reach - as he finds out a moment later when Jack kicks him again, just for good measure! - the space’s too cramped for that.

Mac glares at Jack. Jack glares back. And then Mac crumbles, as he knew he would from the start. Why does he even bother? 

He sighs. “It’s just that–” He pauses, thinking it through before continuing. And when he does, his voice’s thick with emotions. “When did it stop bothering me, Jack? That someone gets hurt?”

Jack frowns, his annoying persona gone now that he got Mac talking. “What do you mean?”

“On the train yesterday, I threw two people out. At that speed? I  _knew_ it wouldn’t end just in bruises,” he says, frustrated with… he doesn’t really know with what or whom? With himself? With his lack of care?

“And what would you have done differently, pray tell?” Jack asks, perfectly calm, perfectly reasonable. “You were facing guns for hire with a Swiss army knife and a package to protect. It was them or you - or worse, the girl, an innocent.”

Sighing, Mac shakes his head. “That’s not the point, Jack. I’m not saying there  _was_ anything I could’ve done differently. You’re right, the girl came first. I’m not disputing that. I would do the same thing today. Or tomorrow. For you, for Riley or even for a perfect stranger. I wouldn’t even hesitate. And  _that_ is the problem.”

Jack’s frown deepens and he tilts his head a little, listening, pondering.

“At some point, I  _stopped caring_ , Jack,” Mac states openly.

Jack actually thinks about his words, he gives the sentiment behind them the attention it deserves. And then he says, “You’re wrong there, hoss.”

Now it’s Mac’s turn to frown. “How so?”

“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be sitting here, asking these questions, saying these things” Jack explains. 

“I once told Thornton you were great at compartmentilizing,” he goes on. “It’s not that you  _don’t care -_  it’s just that you refuse to let excessive care about everything at once cripple you. Because I’ve seen it happen, I saw men paralyzed into inaction by their fear of consequences. And that helps nobody and everyone gets hurt. You are smart enough not to do that to yourself. You store your feelings away in a nice little box until it’s all over. Only then you open it and pick through its contents and then you get all morose and grumpy like a bear with a sore paw.” He points with his finger at Mac. “Like you’re doing just now. And that, exactly  _that_ , means you still care, buddy.”

Mac would like to believe this is true - it sounds rational, like something he  _would_ do - but he has his doubts. He hates doubting things and especially doubting himself. He’s not used to it and he doesn’t like it.

“Look, kid,” Jack says and leans closer, and propping his elbows on his knees, he looks at Mac earnestly, “I thought this went without saying but apparently not. So, I’ll spell it out for you: I have your back, whether it means guarding your life or that stupidly big heart of yours. And I promise you, if I ever get the feeling you’re going too far, that you’ve become too callous, I’ll knock some sense back into you. Alright?”

Looking at Jack, Mac smiles again, feeling strangely reassured by this threat of a knock-down. There’s no better grounding force, no better anchor than Jack, he knows. After everything Jack’s seen, in the years with Mac and before that, the man’s moral compass is still pointing north. And his heart’s as big as ever.

“Alright,” Mac allows. But then, unable to help himself - Jack has this impact on him, what can he say - he adds, “Or, who knows, maybe I’ll knock  _you_ on your ass,  _old man_. It’s been said to happen.”

“Lies, all lies!” Jack protests, leaning back in his seat again. “You cheeky brat. I’ll show you old. Tomorrow, you and me, in the gym. I’ll wipe the floor with you - and that smug grin off your face. What a nonsense, me and lose to such a runt!” Jack harrumphs, crossing his arms over his chest.

But Mac can see the twinkle of amusement in Jack’s eyes and  _he_ knows that  _Jack_ knows what his response actually meant:  _Thank you_ and  _I’m fine_ and  _I’m glad you’re here_. Some things, they don’t need spelled out.


End file.
